Happy Turkey Day!

Today is a holiday in which we feast with gatherings of family we can stand to be around only once a year. It is a tradition remembering those Pilgrims who crossed the Atlantic Ocean in a rickety wooden box to escape religious persecution and feasted with the Native Americans before stealing their land, infecting them with smallpox, or just killing them and who, it should be noted, were so uptight, stuffy, and sexually repressed that the British threw them out of the country.

In honor of this holiday, I offer up to the readers of this blog the biggest Turkey in Angels History:

Jackie Autry

Here's a test you can use to see if the person you're talking to is a real Angels fan, or simply a bandwagonner: Simply bring up the subject of the photo posted above. If they are a true Angels fan, their breathing will get short and rapid. Their pupils will dilate, their nostrils flair, and as the hairs on the back of their neck as their eyes narrow and they recount to you that in 2002, after the Angels had just won Game 7 of the World Series, and when Angels fans were happier than they ever expected to be, they hauled this succubus onto the field to give the World Series trophy to the Angels that seeing that just about ruined the whole night for them. While no self-respecting Angels fan wasn't a little heartbroken that Gene Autry didn't live to see that moment, we knew that if it weren't for Jackie's meddling with the team in the 1980's we may have had one long ago.

In Orange County, many people will tell you that they don't need to read Genesis 3:6 to get the idea that a woman brought evil into this world. They can make a pretty good point of it through Jackie Autry and Georgia Frontiere.

And any Angels fan who's been here for all the losing seasons as well as the recent winning years will tell you that, as FOX can't seem to broadcast a baseball game without showing all the celebrities in the audience (most of whom just happen to be at the game with great seats AND starring in the new TV series FOX is pushing), nor can they trust the game itself to provide enough drama, so they always try to find a human interest side. And in 2002, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver kept reminding us about "The Cowboy" and how much he loved his Angels.

And to do so, they showed his poor widow Jackie, wearing Gene's trademark white cowboy hat, sitting in the owner's luxury box at the Big A.

If she'd have sat with the fans, she'd have been lynched.

And now, as the "Honorary President of the American League," we have to see this shrew handing the American League Championship trophy to the winner of the ALCS every year. I loved seeing her mispronounce Jim Leyland's name this year after the Tigers won the pennant. And I'm sure it was due to the incredible amount of hate psychically directed to her from all the true Angels fans watching.

So today, I officially declare Jackie Autry as ths blog's "All-Time Biggest Turkey in Angels History."

And, in the spirit of this holiday, I offer up something I am grateful for:

I am very thankful that Jackie Autry is no longer affiliated with this team.